给女儿选了数学专业后她恨我怎么办

coconut!

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标题党致歉哈哈哈~

标题的问题其实是最近国内老友过来问我的问题,她女儿在国内读大学,去年6月刚刚高考完,分数非常不错,很多专业学校都可以挑,当时老友一门心思想让她女儿学数学专业,一是这种基础学科读研跨考空间很大、就业机会很多,二是就算不读研不找工作,这个专业去当老师也非常吃香。

她女儿性格很乖,当时也就同意了爸爸妈妈的建议,但是她跟我说,自从上了大学后,她女儿简直要“恨”上她和她爱人了。她女儿说自己专业作为基础学科,平时课业压力特别大,学习科目难度也比别的理科专业上升了好几个level,平时上课听不懂,期末考试不挂科都算是万幸。听着老友描述女儿上大学之后的“悲惨生活”,我也是跟着头大了起来。

我问老友她后悔让女儿选这个专业吗,老友在电话那头沉默了一会儿,表示其实也是后悔的,虽然她也希望女儿能读一个比较好就业的专业,但是看到女儿先十几岁、二十岁每天在电话里抱怨自己在图书馆愁眉苦脸,期末考试之前情绪崩溃,甚至思考起转专业,她肯定也是后悔的。

听到这里我也不禁想到了自己的女儿,其实我们这些做父母的无论平时嘴上再怎么说着学习有多重要,心里最关心的其实是孩子们活得是否开心、是否健康。

老友的话更像是一面镜子,让我想起一开始我对女儿学习数学的“头大往昔”。说实话,我从小数学很好,理科成绩一路拔尖,后来顺理成章地拿了全额奖学金,读了理工科,毕业后顺利留在新加坡工作。所以,当我的女儿上了小学,开始展现出对数学的抗拒时,我整个人是崩溃的。

后来我和女儿接触了LingoAce。我之前知道这个机构是做海外中文教育的,口碑很好,后来女儿上课之后我意识到其实他们的数学课也很棒,尤其擅长用游戏化、启发式的方式引导孩子。

我至今还记得女儿第一次上课时的表情。LingoAce的课堂跟我想象中那种枯燥的板书完全不同,老师非常年轻有活力,课件里充满了生动的动画和闯关游戏。遇到女儿算错或者卡壳的地方,老师一句批评都没有,而是笑着鼓励她:“没关系,我们让小猴子再退两步看看?”女儿竟然在数学课上笑出了声。她开始主动提问,主动去拖动屏幕上的数字模块。

从一开始上课到现在,女儿的数学学习进步特别大,这种进步不仅仅体现在学校的测验分数上,当然她的分数也确实进步了,更重要的是,她对数学的心态完全改变了。以前提到数学就想放弃的她,现在甚至会拿着课上的小游戏跑来跟我“炫耀”:“妈妈,你看这道应用题,LingoAce的老师教了我一个超级酷的方法,我画给你看!”

伴随着女儿的进步,我对她数学学习的心态也变得越来越平和。我不再用学霸妈妈的标准去苛求她,也不再拿她和我的学生时代比较。我开始接受一个事实:我的女儿不需要数学和我一样好,她只需要和自己比较,只要今天的她比昨天进步,这也是非常开心的事情。

她现在可以在超市里熟练地帮我计算打折后的价格,遇到难题时不再害怕得发抖,而是愿意去思考、去尝试。

前两天和那位国内老友再次通话时,我把女儿这段时间的转变讲给她听,也把我的感悟分享给了她。我说:“其实我们焦虑,是因为我们总想把自己认为好的一条路铺在孩子脚下。可是,每一朵花都有自己不一样的花期,与其逼着她们成长,不如让她们寻找最适合自己的成长方式。”

挂了电话后我走出书房,看着客厅里正在一边哼着歌一边搭乐高的女儿,夕阳的余晖洒在她毛茸茸的头发上,画面温暖而美好。在这个快节奏的时代,能在异国他乡保持一份平常心并不容易。但我很庆幸,我及时醒悟,也遇到了像LingoAce这样懂孩子的平台,帮我找回了那个快乐、自信的女儿。

写下这些,希望能帮到同样正在为孩子学习而感到“焦虑”的家长伙伴们!大家在日常辅导中,有没有经历过类似的挣扎,或者有什么好用的经验与方法?期待在评论区听到你们的故事,大家一起交流探讨:如何在帮助孩子提升成绩的同时,好好呵护他们的自信与快乐呀~
 
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