我终于和我女儿和解了

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如果在我的学生时代提到数学,那我也算是配的上“数学的神”这个称号。

我大学之前一直在国内读书,接受的是国内高强度的教育,虽然强度很高但是很多学科基础打得也很牢固——就比如数学。我高中选的纯理,班里男生特别多,那个时候大家都特别有刻板印象,或者说难听点?像没开智。班里的男生人数本来就多,总会抱团来嘲笑我们为数不多的女生,比如在考试前:“这次立体几何你们都能学会吗?这么难,你们女生就好好的学文科呗。”

一般这种时候,老娘我就会站出来:“哦?你们这么胸有成竹,这次月考数学第一想必是在各位中产生喽?”

回答是一片鸦雀无声,一到难回答的问题就不说话。因为自从选课分班后,大大小小的数学考试,第一几乎都被我收入囊中。我从小上学就特别喜欢数学,成绩也一直很不错,学习数学对我来说是绝对的享受,从读题、寻找题眼再到一步步解题得到正确答案这个过程在我的学生时代是十分幸福且自豪的。

但我的女儿似乎没遗传到她老妈这个聪明的脑袋,在幼儿园时给她做数学启蒙,从1数到10都教了快两周,她从小就对数字不太敏感。除此之外空间思维能力也算不上好,我闺蜜跟我说如果嫌弃小孩麻烦就给她们买个乐高,一拼就能拼一天,根本不来烦你。我当时信了她的鬼话,给我女儿买了好多乐高,结果就是别说拼一天了,拼一分钟不过来喊:“爸爸、妈妈这个怎么拼呀?”——都算是谢天谢地了。

上了小学之后就更加不用说了,每天辅导数学作业对于我和她爸爸来说都算是难事,课上讲的她不感兴趣,知识点得不到吸收,做题自然是困难重重。

每天辅导作业几乎都会变成一场“家庭小型辩论赛”。我在旁边一边讲思路,一边忍不住急:“这么简单的题为什么又算错?”她在旁边越听越委屈,铅笔越握越紧,最后小声说一句:“妈妈,我不喜欢数学。”

那一刻我其实是有点震惊的。因为在我的认知里,数学一直是一门只要认真学就能学好的学科。可我慢慢发现,对她来说不是这样。她不是不努力,她只是对数字没有感觉,甚至有点害怕。

有一段时间,我真的特别焦虑。我会忍不住想:是不是我这个“数学好的妈妈”反而把孩子教坏了?是不是她真的不适合学数学?

后来有一次和同事聊天,她跟我提到了LingoAce 的数学课。我一开始其实是半信半疑的——数学不就是做题、讲题、再做题吗?还能有什么花样?

但真正让我改变想法的,是女儿的第一节课。老师没有一上来就讲公式,而是用很多生活场景带她理解题目。比如把题目里的数字变成小动物、积木、甚至是游戏里的角色,让孩子一步一步自己说出答案。最神奇的是,老师几乎不会直接说“错了”,而是会问她:“如果换一种想法会不会更容易呢?”那节课结束的时候,我女儿突然很兴奋地跟我说:“妈妈,我觉得数学其实挺有意思的。”

说实话,那一刻我有点被触动。

后来上了几周课,我慢慢发现她的变化真的不只是成绩。以前写数学作业,她是拖拖拉拉;现在有时候会主动说:“我先把数学写完。”以前遇到不会的题,她第一反应是:“我不会。”现在会说:“我再想一想。”

甚至有一次她在餐桌上突然问我:“妈妈,如果有三个苹果再加两个是不是五个?”

那一刻我特别欣慰,因为她开始对数字产生好奇了。

而我自己也在这个过程中被教育了一次。我以前一直觉得,学习是可以被逼出来的。但慢慢才发现,兴趣这件事是急不来的。

有的孩子像我一样,很早就会喜欢数学;有的孩子需要更长的时间,需要有人把门轻轻推开。现在我再辅导她作业的时候,已经不会像以前那样急了。她算慢一点也没关系,做错了也没关系。

我不再执着于“她一定要像我一样数学很好”,我更希望她能不害怕数学,甚至有一点点喜欢它。

所以说实话,我觉得我不是和数学和解了,我是终于和我女儿和解了。
 
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